Lying here in the bed
I share with you.
The ghost of you lingers
in the sheets. The smell
of your shampoo, perfuming
It feels empty, an
incomplete jigsaw. Just
one piece missing. I’m
a sonnet that’s one line
short. Even the stars
outside seem hollow.
You’re not here beside me.
The mattress keeps a memory
of your shape. I run my
hand across the covers,
tracing your outline.
I need you here.
Love is the blood keeping me alive,
It courses through my veins to make me survive.
Without it I’m incomplete and cold,
It’s always there from young to old.
Friendship is the veins keeping the love inside,
They keep me together and do not hide.
They keep my love on the path to my heart,
The main part of my body where they both start.
Veins and blood they complete one another,
My friendship shielding my love as a strong cover.
Hot metal sticking to skin.
It’s over for now.
Fighting mental pain with physical pain,
Battling my own feelings of distain.
Blood collecting and blisters revealing,
All these scars never healing.
The sensation so comforting it’s what I need,
Punishing myself and making myself bleed.
This may get me through months, weeks, days,
But the emptiness creeps back, the need stays.